Christy had news on Monday, but Mr. Griffin chose to start with Jarod instead. “Anything to report?”
“Nope. Been reading my cards, just like I agreed.”
“Yes, I notice you’ve been diligent in checking off the app. Any progress?”
“I called some past customers. Got more work over the weekend than normal.”
“Good. Anything—.”
“That’s all. Let’s go on to Christy. I want to hear her news.”
Mr. Griffin sighed. “Very well. Christy, how did the joint practice go?”
“Awesome. Coach Jan paired us up, one girl from our team with one girl from hers. They’ve got a Division I program, so everyone on her team is a top swimmer. They gave us some great advice and tons of encouragement. Coach Jan kept going from pair to pair, answering questions and giving feedback. At the end, she told us that our partner was going to be our ‘big sister’ for the year and we could call her whenever we needed advice, and she encouraged us to make time to swim with our big sisters whenever we could. She told us never to hesitate to call them, as the college swimmers would probably get more out of the relationship than we would. It was a nice thing to say, even if it’s bogus.”
“Don’t be so quick to write it off. One of the reasons I love teaching is because of how much I learn.”
“But we haven’t taught you anything.”
“First of all, you’re wrong. Secondly, teaching this material forces me to go back to fundamental principles. Whenever I do that, I develop understandings that eluded me in the past or find that I’ve gotten lazy and let some things lag that I shouldn’t have. There’s no doubt that I raise my own level by teaching, and I think Coach Jan will find the same thing with her team.”
Mr. Griffin sat on his desk. “I sense that you have more to share, Christy. You look both excited and disturbed.”
“There’s more. Coach Jan invited Dana, one of her past swimmers, to join the practice. Dana was a star on last year’s team, and though she’s still at the school getting her Masters, she can no longer swim because she’s used up her athletic eligibility. At the end of the practice, Dana offered to be our coach.”
“So you did it,” Mr. Griffin said. “You found yourself a coach with time still left until your deadline. Did you like Dana?”
“She’s great. We hit it off right away.”
“So why do you look so uncomfortable?”
“There’s more news. The Olympics coach kept his promise. He posted Kelvin’s video and tagged all sorts of people. Based on the number of views, it seems like some of them shared it too. How many views do we have, Kelvin?”
“As of last period, 403.”
Jarod stepped over to rustle my hair. “Nice going, dude.”
“Yeah,” Christy said, “but here’s the problem. One of the women the coach tagged lives nearby. She was an alternate for the US Olympic team during the Atlanta Olympics, and later became a swim coach herself. She stopped coaching when she had kids, but the kids are a bit older now, and she was thinking about coaching again. She reached out to me over the weekend and said she’d help us out.”
Mr. Griffin laughed. “As you progress, don’t think your problems will go away. They’ll just be replaced by higher quality problems. Two coaches may be uncomfortable, but it’s far better than none.”
Christy’s hands twisted into each other. “So what do I do?”
“What do you want to do?” Mr. Griffin asked.
“Well, I’ve met Dana, but I haven’t met the other woman. I suppose I should meet her.”
“Sounds like a plan. You have your coaching notecard on you?”
“Right here, but it’s pretty useless now.”
“Useless? I doubt that. Read it off.”
“It says:
I intend to find an amazing coach for the girls’ swim team by November 24. To accomplish this, I will do the following steps.
1. Research the top swimming coaches in the world
2. Make a list of 20 World Class Coaches to reach out to
3. Before each call, I will reconnect with my vision and get myself in a peak state of mind.
4. Call each coach, and be open to whatever help they offer to give.
5. Create a Team Video showing who we are and why we want to win so badly
“See, it’s useless. I’ve done all of that.”
“It’s true that you’ve completed all of the steps listed, but that just means that they need updating. The goal and the deadline are as relevant as ever.”
“So I just cross out the steps I’ve done?”
“Of course. The purpose of the card is to activate your mind toward your goal, to keep bringing you back to the work that lies ahead, and to motivate you to follow through. Have you found it motivating reading the steps you’ve already completed?”
“No, I was just doing it because you told me I had to or I’ll fail math.”
“You have to keep focusing on the goal and keep plugging away at the steps that will get you there. But you’re looking at your steps in the rearview mirror. Let’s make some changes. Are there any steps you feel you should keep at this point?”
“No. I’ve completed them all.”
“Then cross them out. Or better yet, here’s a new card. With all of those completed steps, you’re out of room on that one.”
“So I should copy over the top line of the old card?”
“Yes, the goal and the date are the same.”
“What should I write for the steps?”
“You tell me.”
Christy chewed the cap of her pen. “Well, the first step is that Jill and I should meet with Sue, she’s the second coach. I suppose if we like her, we can ask her and Dana to each run a practice.”
“What else?”
“Then we choose the one we like best, I guess.”
“Can you think of any other options?”
“Not really.” Christy turned to the rest of the class. “Any of you have ideas?”
“Maybe you don’t need to choose,” Darnell said. “Couldn’t they both help you?”
“I think they’d get in each other’s way, but it’s possible. I see what you’re saying. Why plan on choosing just one before I know for sure that they can’t work together. After all, I can easily double my coaching budget.”
“You can?” Jarod asked.
“Wake up Jarod, this is math class. Two times zero is still zero.”
Mr. Griffin said, “Good use of your Mastermind Group, Christy. What will your new card read?”
Christy scribbled something down. “Now it says:
I intend to find an amazing coach for the girls’ swim team by November 24. To accomplish this, I will do the following steps.
1. Jill and I will interview all candidates
2. If the interview goes well, we’ll ask the candidate to run a team practice
3. We will then decide on our top choice, while still being open to multiple coaches working together
“How are you going to do all of that in time?” I asked.
“What’s that?”
I twisted around to look right at Christy. “You only have a few days until your deadline. Are you going to give Dana a real interview? If so, you need to do two interviews and two practices. When are you going to fit that all in?”
“I do want to give Dana a real interview. You’re right, I might run out of time.”
“Don’t give up yet,” Mr. Griffin said. “Deadlines have remarkable power to get us to think creatively. Can any of you come up with a way of saving Christy time?”
“Well, you already know that you like Dana enough to want her to run a practice,” I said. “Couldn’t you schedule her interview and her practice for the same day?”
“Good idea. That would save me a day.”
“You still have no time to lose,” Mr. Griffin said.
“You’re right. Can I call them both now?”
“Go ahead.”
Christy pulled out her cell phone and went over by the window at the back of the classroom.
“Guess this would be a good time to hit the john. Can I have a pass?” Jarod shot up, grabbed a pink note from Mr. Griffin and booked it out the door.
I grabbed my copy of Hamlet to study for my English exam, then saw Darnell take one furtive look at Christy and stepped up to Mr. Griffin’s desk.
“Yes, Darnell?” Mr. Griffin asked.
Darnell fidgeted for a moment, then shot another glance toward the back of the classroom.
Mr. Griffin leaned in. “If you want to get it out before she gets off the phone, you’d better hurry.”
Darnell’s face hung low. “I’m embarrassed about my weight.”
I quickly hid behind Shakespeare, but could still see Darnell through the corner of my eye. How could he be so open? I think I’d rather die than say that out loud.
“I know,” Mr. Griffin said. “So was I at your age. You’re ready to work on it?”
“Yes, but…” Darnell looked over his shoulder.
“Darnell, if I were to ask Christy, ‘how do you think Darnell feels about his weight?’ what do you think she’d say?”
Darnell’s shoulders rose to meet his ears. “She’d say I was embarrassed.”
“Sometimes what we consider our biggest secrets are stunningly obvious to the rest of the world.”
Darnell’s hands balled into fists. “Still…”
“It’s possible for you to do this process alone. But I promise you—it’s far more powerful when you open yourself up to the wisdom of your Mastermind Group.”
“I know. I’m just not sure I can handle that.”
“You strike me as a guy who wants to do it, but needs to be convinced. Is that right?”
Silence filled the air. Darnell drew a deep breath. “I suppose so.”
“I can convince you, but it’s going to hurt.”
Darnell’s head slowly rose so that his gaze met our teacher’s. “I’m OK with that.”
“Very well, then tell me, Darnell, if you’re not able to address your weight now, when you’re in a classroom full of people helping each other grow, when do you think you’ll be able to take off the pounds?”
“Probably never.”
“What about your attitude toward your weight? There are plenty of people who consider large bodies beautiful. If you’re unable to ever lose the weight, do you at least think you can come to look at yourself as beautiful, despite your size?”
Darnell’s back slumped. “No, Mr. Griffin.”
“Close your eyes.”
“Now? Here?” Darnell shot another glance towards Christy, who was still on the phone.
“Yes, now. Take a breath and relax your shoulders. There. Now, imagine you haven’t changed your lifestyle at all. Picture yourself ten years from now, standing before a mirror. Can you see yourself?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to.”
“Do it anyway.” There was a commanding tone to Mr. Griffin voice that I hadn’t heard before. “Now, what do you look like?”
“I’m huge. My skin is all broken out. I keep dropping my eyes.”
“Don’t. Keep your eyes on the prize.”
“The prize?”
“Yes, your efforts today lead to your rewards tomorrow. What you see in the mirror is the product of your choices today.”
“Some prize.”
“Tell me about the life of that man in the mirror. Are you confident?”
“No, I’m a mess. I can hardly look anyone in the eye.”
“Do you have a good job?”
“No.” Darnell’s breathing grew short and shallow. “I’m working in some convenience store. With a boss who keeps pushing me around.”
“Do you have a romantic relationship?”
“No, I’m alone.” Darnell’s face turned away.
“Back to the mirror, Darnell. Look right at him. This is your future. How’s your health?”
“Awful. I can barely walk to work without getting short of breath.”
“How do you feel now as you study the man in the mirror?”
“Nauseous. Gross. I want to squirm and run away.”
“Good.”
“How is this good?
“These feelings will give you the leverage you need to change. Now, look at that man in the mirror and tell him how you feel about him.”
“You’re disgusting!” Darnell’s voice sounded blubbery, as though his lips were wet with tears.
Mr. Griffin reached over and dug his index finger into the soft flesh on the back of Darnell’s shoulder. “Say it again.”
“You’re disgusting!”
“Again.” Mr. Griffin pressed his finger into Darnell’s shoulder each time.
“You’re disgusting!”
“Remember this moment. It will be your greatest friend over the coming months.” Mr. Griffin pulled his hand away. “Open your eyes. You did that exercise well. A little too well. Most teenagers have a harder time visualizing themselves in the future. At least, they have a harder time if they’ve never done it before. Do you spend a lot of time thinking about who you’ll become?”
Darnell nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m scared of what will happen to me.”
“And what do you do when you feel afraid?”
“I…eat.”
“See a bit of a problem?”
Darnell’s head tilted to the side, then popped straight again. “Yeah.”
“What would happen if you put that fear behind you? What would happen if today you resolved to work hard until you had the body you wanted? If you were to decide right now to take the weight off and keep it off, what would that change?”
“Everything.”
“Would it? Let’s put it to the test. Close your eyes again. The same ten years have passed. You’re staring in the mirror at a Darnell ten years older, but who’s fit, who’s got the body you dream of. What does this Darnell look like?”
Darnell’s posture straightened—he actually seemed taller. “I look good. Really good.”
“Tell me more. Are you thin?”
“Not exactly thin, but there’s no fat on me. I’m muscular. An athlete.”
“How’s your confidence?”
“Super high. I’m smiling back at me.”
“How’s your health?”
“Amazing. I’ve got tons of energy.”
“Job?”
“A great job, making a lot of money. Maybe in sales.”
“Sales? So you’re a people person?”
“Oh yeah.”
“And a relationship?”
“Married to a beautiful woman.”
“How do you feel now as you study the man in the mirror?”
“Awesome. My whole body is buzzing.”
“Tell him how you feel about him.”
“You rock!”
Mr. Griffin dug his finger into Darnell’s chest. “Again.”
“You rock!”
Again his finger dug in. “One more time.”
“You rock!”
Mr. Griffin pressed his finger once more and removed it. “If this Darnell could speak to you and give you one piece of advice, what would it be?”
Darnell pounded his fist into his hand. “Don’t be afraid.”
“Open your eyes. You’ve told me your dream, and you’ve told me your nightmare. Are you ready to choose between the two?”
“Yes, Mr. Griffin.”
“Are you willing to take your own advice and face your fears?”
“Yes.”
“Can you get past your embarrassment so we can get to work?”
Jarod walked in the door. “I’m back. Don’t all applaud at once, OK?”
Darnell’s posture deflated.
“Can you get past your embarrassment?” Mr. Griffin repeated.
“I think so.”
“That’s not good enough. This can’t come from me. Your homework tonight is to sit with these two visions for who you can become. Tomorrow I want you to tell me what you’ve decided.”
Christy was now off the phone and chatting with Jarod.
“Christy, do you have an update for us?” Mr. Griffin asked.
“Good news with Dana. She’s free today. She’s going to run practice this afternoon, and she’ll come early to meet with the captains beforehand.”
“Great. And Sue?”
“I couldn’t reach her.”
Darnell entered the classroom with fire in his eyes. He shot Mr. Griffin a quick thumbs up and took his seat.
“We’ve got some exciting news today,” Mr. Griffin said, “but first I want to get updates. Christy, how did the interview and practice go?”
“The interview went great. Dana’s got so much enthusiasm. Jill and I both loved her.”
“And the practice?”
“It was good. I don’t think Dana’s ever run one before. Things were a bit disorganized at first, but then she divided us into two teams and had us go through an entire swim meet. A big improvement over when we were running them ourselves.”
“Any update on Sue?”
“She’s going to come in and interview today.”
“What about practice?”
“I didn’t want to ask her yet, because then what would I do if the interview went poorly, say ‘sorry, but we don’t like you enough to ask you to run a practice?’”
Mr. Griffin laughed. “One of the reasons my first business failed was because I hated rejecting anyone. I’d hire people who weren’t perfect fits, and resisted firing those who weren’t working out. My breakthrough came when I realized that honest communication was not only better for me, it was better for them as well.”
“Why was it better for them?”
“Because as long as they were wasting time with me, they weren’t able to find a place where they could thrive. And when someone is not a good fit and isn’t contributing value, they know it inside.”
“So if we tell her we don’t want her, she won’t be bummed?”
“Of course she will—it hurts to be rejected. But that’s only momentary pain. When we get too focused on avoiding short-term pain, we can cause far more in the long-term. After all, I’m sure Sue will have no problem finding another coaching job where she earns no salary.”
Christy laughed. “Good point. We figured if the interview went well today, we’d invite her to run practice afterward, so we’d still make our deadline.”
“Hopefully she’ll be available. Jarod, how about you?”
“Doing OK, Mr. Griffin.”
“Have you made any progress?”
“Some.”
“Care to elaborate for the class?”
“Not really.”
Mr. Griffin shook his head. “In that case, we move on to today’s most exciting news.” He clapped, then rubbed his hands together. “We have a new victim.”
Without waiting for Mr. Griffin to call on him, Darnell stood and faced the class. “I’m sick of being fat. I don’t want to go through life overweight and out of shape.” He pulled a notecard out of his back pocket and read:
I intend to lose 70 pounds this year while building muscle and getting in shape.
Jarod clapped. Christy called out, “Go, Darnell!”
“Tell me, Darnell,” Mr. Griffin said, “did that feel better or worse than you thought it would?”
“So much better. I thought people would laugh at me.”
“No way, Darnell,” Jarod said. “That took balls.”
“See?” Mr. Griffin said. “Most people get inspired by someone who wants to face their challenges and grow.”
“So you like my card so far?”
“I love the intention,” Mr. Griffin said.
“But you don’t like the card?”
“I’d like to tweak the language a bit.”
“How’s that?”
“If it’s not too embarrassing, can you tell me how much you weigh now?”
“It is embarrassing.” Darnell bit his lip. “I weighed myself this morning at 242 pounds.”
“So if a couple of months from now you weigh yourself and find that you’re 208 pounds, how far along will you be toward your goal?”
“That’s easy, I’ll take my starting weight of 242 and subtract 208, and I’ll come up with, just a second, 34 pounds. I’ll be almost halfway.”
“Does anyone see a problem in what Darnell just did?”
The math was right. But Mr. Griffin said the other day that he was less concerned about the math than the psychology. Then it clicked.
“Darnell went back to his starting weight to figure out how much progress he’d made.”
“Precisely Kelvin. Now, why is that a problem?”
“Is it because it reminds him that he used to weigh 242 pounds?”
“Exactly. For all I know, this could be the first day when Darnell weighed 242 pounds. Yesterday he might have been 241. Yet, if he creates his goal this way, each day he’ll return to the fact that he used to weigh 242. Darnell, you want to leave that identity in the dust, yet if you keep focusing on it, you might reinforce it instead.”
“So how would I write it better?” Darnell asked.
Mr. Griffin turned to me. “Kelvin, you figured out the first half of the puzzle. Can you get the rest?”
If going back to his old weight was reinforcing the wrong identity, what would strengthen the right one? “I suppose we could reverse it. Darnell, rather than say how much you want to lose, you could say what you want to weigh at the end. So 172 pounds.”
“Or less,” Darnell added.
“Excellent,” Mr. Griffin said. “As we told Christy, we always want our goals centered on where we’re going. We never want to look at them in the rearview mirror.”
“Got it,” Darnell said. “Now my card reads:
I intend to weigh 172 pounds or less by the end of the school year while building muscle and getting in shape.
“Better Darnell, though I’d like to recommend one more change. Huge goals can be motivating, but also intimidating. Also, there is a tendency to delay starting if the end date is too far in the future. Let’s shrink the change. You signed a contract agreeing to a 30-day commitment. How much do you intend to lose in the next month?”
“I can commit to 15 pounds.”
“Excellent, so let’s fix your card.”
Darnell corrected his card, then said, “Now it reads:
I intend to weigh 227 pounds or less by December 23
“Now, how will you get there?”
“I guess cut out the junk food and exercise more.”
“Exercise more you say? Wonderful, stand up.”
Darnell got to his feet.
“Good job, now sit down.”
Darnell, clearly confused, sat down again.
“Congratulations. You just did more exercise.”
All of us, including Darnell, laughed. “I see your point,” he said, “I need to be more specific.”
“Yes, you do. And cutting out the junk food might not be enough. You might need to cut the junk out of your normal food as well. Tell me, what did you have for breakfast yesterday?”
Darnell squirmed. “3 bowls of Frosted Flakes.”
“Anything to drink?”
“2 glasses of orange juice.”
“And that’s just breakfast, I won’t bother taking you through the rest of your day, but I believe you already see the problem.”
Darnell nodded. “So what should I put down on my card?”
“You tell me. You know the procedures by now. You’ve got your Mastermind Group to help. What steps must you take to reach your goal?”
Classes were shortened the next day so families traveling for Thanksgiving could get an early start.
“We don’t have a lot of time today, so let’s dive right in,” Mr. Griffin said. “Christy, how did the big interview with Sue go yesterday?”
“I’m not sure actually.”
“What did you learn about her during the interview?”
“Nothing really. She asked most of the questions.”
“Like what?”
“Like everything. She asked about the training methods our last coach used. She asked about the girls on the team and took notes on each one. She asked about the other teams in our conference. She would have kept going if we didn’t have to break off for practice.”
“Did you ask her to run the practice?”
“She refused. She said she’d need a couple of days to plan out her first practice. She stayed and watched though. Now and then she’d pull one of the girls aside and point something out. But that was it. She said the earliest she’d be willing to run a practice is Monday, after the holiday.”
“Your deadline to hire a coach is today,” Mr. Griffin said.
“I know. What should I do?”
“I can’t answer that for you, Christy. You tell me.”
“I definitely like Dana more. She ran a good practice, and all of the girls liked her. With Dana, I know we’d all work together to figure things out. That’s not the way it would be with Sue. I don’t think Sue cares about our opinions. I just wish I had until Monday so I could see her coach.”
“You can’t?” Mr. Griffin asked.
“You know I can’t. You said yourself, today’s the 24th.”
“So?”
“So that’s what’s written on the notecard.”
Mr. Griffin laughed. “Who’s in charge, the notecard or you?”
“But you said yourself that we had to stick to the notecard deadlines.”
“The notecards are a tool. They serve to activate your mind and keep you in line with your higher vision. When they work best, they can cause huge shifts in your life. Those very shifts can make what you originally wrote on the notecards outdated. That’s why we change the steps so much, but we can also change the deadline or even the goal itself. The key is to know when a change will truly move you toward your higher vision, and when it’s just a cop-out. Remember why you gave yourself this deadline?”
“It was the thought that if we went more than two weeks without coaching, we’d be sunk.”
“Do you still feel that way?”
“No. The team’s come a long way since then. We’ve already gotten some great coaching, and we’re no longer a mess. At this point, I think we’d be silly not to give ourselves until Monday to make sure we get the best possible coach.” Christy bent over her card, pen in hand.
Mr. Griffin turned to Darnell. “Now, how about you?”
“I weighed in this morning at a svelte 241 pounds.” Though he had only lost one pound, Darnell beamed.
“How’d you do it?”
“I walked home from school yesterday rather than taking the bus, and I skipped dessert after dinner.”
“Sounds like a strong start. How’s your notecard coming along?”
“Good. It now reads:
I intend to weigh 227 pounds or less by December 23. To accomplish this, I will do the following:
1. Cut out all soda, ice cream, and other junk foods, replacing them with healthier alternatives
2. Get at least half an hour of exercise per day
“Nice start. Jarod, any update for us?”
Jarod slouched in his chair in the back row, arms crossed. “Nope.”
“Anything you’d like to run by your Mastermind Group?”
“I’m good.”
“Very well. Have a great holiday, everyone.”
On Monday, Darnell refused to make eye contact with any of us. Blood rose to his cheeks as he took his seat. A moment later, those same flabby cheeks glistened with the tracks of tears. He must have put on major pounds during Thanksgiving.
“Certain moments define a lifetime,” Mr. Griffin said. “My gut tells me, Darnell, that you’re in one of those moments right now.”
Darnell’s back trembled.
“How bad is it?” Mr. Griffin asked.
Darnell’s voice quivered. “246.”
“I’ll remind you all,” Mr. Griffin said, “our greatest clarity comes at times of extremes, at our greatest heights or our lowest lows.”
Mr. Griffin stepped in front of Darnell’s desk. “I could be nice right now—I could sympathize with you and help you feel less pain—but that wouldn’t serve you. Use the pain you’re feeling now to help you make the all-important decision that lies before you.”
Mr. Griffin looked around the class. “For the rest of you, feel the emotion in the room. Tap into that to delve into your own places of brokenness.” He sat back down at his desk. “There will be no speaking for the rest of class.”
Mr. Griffin pulled out a worn journal and wrote. Darnell continued to sob into his arms.
